Top 10 Best Insults & Comebacks on Scrubs
#10: Kelso in Hell “My Advice to You”
Top 10 Kelso & Jackie Moments on That '70s Show
Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso have quite different outlooks on medicine, as well as plenty of animosity towards one another. While Kelso tells the residents to pay attention to all of their terminally ill patients equally, Dr. Cox tells them the exact opposite, asking that they focus all their efforts on one, whom he believes they may actually be able to save. After Elliot protests, citing Kelso’s previous order, Dr. Cox claims that the only thing he wants to hear from Kelso’s mouth is that the older doctor has ended up in… the opposite place of where he might have wanted to go, along with several dictators and, oddly, a children’s TV host. You’d never know it from looking at him…
#9: Carla Calls Katie Out “My Saving Grace”
New intern Katie gets on people’s bad sides by taking credit for their work. So, to set her straight, Carla sits her down in the cafeteria and tells her to knock it off. She has seen many people in her time at Sacred Heart, so any excuse for her behavior is no excuse at all. Katie tries to sway Carla by detailing her unfortunate upbringing, but Carla replies: “Heard it!” She goes on to list all the emotional baggage she and her friends all deal with. Carla makes it clear to Katie that acting out is only going to alienate the people she’s going to be spending most of her time with and if she keeps it up, she won’t last long. Good advice for most workplaces!
#8: J.D. Impersonates Dr. Cox “My Butterfly”
Top 10 Hilarious Insults & Comebacks on Friends
J.D. hangs on Dr. Perry Cox’s every word and looks up to him as a mentor. When Cox offers to let J.D. take the lead on a patient, J.D. responds to his caustic attitude by replying in kind: imitating his every mannerism. He does the whistle, calls Dr. Cox a girl’s name, and goes into an overly long rant with several tangents that further call the older doctor’s masculinity into question. While Dr. Cox responds by pretending to get lost in thought like J.D. does, we have to feel like he almost respects the effort. At least, until J.D. fails at the shoulder bump. Well, you can’t always hit every note.
#7: Two Thumbs Various
Top 10 Funniest Insults & Comebacks on Sitcoms
While most see Dr. Bob Kelso as the heartless chief of medicine, it’s more that he’s seen it all and has stopped caring as much about most things, including what people think of him. One of his favorite ways to express this is to rhetorically ask people what has two thumbs and doesn’t give a crap. The answer is, invariably – his own name. This is something of a catchphrase for him, though he does vary it up occasionally, sometimes using a funny voice. It’s not a very original comeback, but it’s a cliché for good reason – it’s effective. Plus, there’s something to be said for Kelso’s delivery.
#6: Too Proud “My Fruit Cups”
Top 10 SAVAGE Rick Sanchez Comebacks and Insults
When Dr. Cox’s ex-wife Jordan returns, pregnant with, supposedly, another man’s child, he’s both conflicted and angry, particularly since he’s seeing someone else. However, he also discovers that his current girlfriend, Julie, has slept around at the hospital. Carla rightly calls Dr. Cox out on his hypocrisy after he takes some of his anger out on J.D. She lists all the women he has slept with at the hospital, including Jordan, repeatedly. When Cox asks that she stop mentioning his ex-wife, Carla responds: “I will if you will.” Dr. Cox can’t even be mad at her, and we don’t blame him because that’s one solid burn.
#5: Who Caresies Awards “My Own Worst Enemy”
Top 10 SAVAGE Comebacks in Kids Shows
Dr. Cox has had many creative methods of expressing how little he cares about things. There’s that time he cared so little he almost passed out, and we’re big fans of the celebrated work “Man Not Caring.” But our pick for the best time he discusses his lack of anything approaching caring is this one. Dr. Cox’s patience is about as thin as Turk’s hair – it just ain’t there. So when everyone around him starts talking about the minutiae of their lives while he’s trying to save a patient’s life, he decides to invent the “Who Caresies Awards.” This dovetails nicely into a fantasy sequence where J.D. embellishes the already amusing premise with full-on award show pomp. That year was the Todd’s to lose.
#4: Elliot Takes Down Jordan “My Last Day”
If there’s anyone more savage than Dr. Cox at Sacred Heart, it’s probably his ex-wife Jordan. But even she can be bested, on rare occasions. One such moment happens after Elliot gives her a physical. When Jordan claims that Elliot shouldn’t be sleeping with J.D., whom Elliot actually likes, and that sex is for revenge and children, Elliot calls Jordan out. She reveals that everyone knows she’s still sleeping with Dr. Cox, while also lambasting her for her hypocrisy. Elliot doesn’t quite stick the landing, but we have to respect that she dared to hit Jordan so far below the belt.
#3: The Rant Song “My Musical”
Top 10 Musical Moments on Bluey
Dr. Cox delivers plenty of amusing rants during “Scrubs,” but one of the most amusing is also the one that rhymes the most. In the episode “My Musical” a woman named Patti faints outside the hospital and when she wakes up, everyone has started singing their words. While trying to convince Dr. Cox she’s not insane, we’re treated to a rant in song form about everything J.D. does to irritate Dr. Cox. There’s some creative bars throughout and even some accompaniment by the Janitor and Patti herself. While most of us would probably like to compose a song about someone or something that bothers us, we’re unfortunately not all musically inclined.
#2: All the Girl Names Various
Top 10 Savage Moments on New Girl
Dr. Cox may be J.D.’s mentor, but he’s hardly nice about it. Along with the aforementioned rants directed at his protégé, Perry’s favorite method of mocking J.D. is calling him an arbitrary girl’s name instead of addressing him by his real name. The sheer variety of these is impressive, even if the concept is a simple one. These names can range from famous celebrities, to random common names, and even something as lazy as the literal words “girl’s name.” He switches it up one episode, too, and does dogs’ names instead. It’s one of the show’s best running gags, for sure. Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions: Pancake, “My Advice to You” The Noise Turk Makes Is Indescribably Funny Everyone’s Wheelhouse, “My Fishbowl” Way to Break Down the Entire Show’s Humor, Dr. Cox! Ways to Say “No”, “My Brother, Where Art Thou?” So Many Ways to Convey Such a Simple Concept Wrong = Dorian, “My Road to Nowhere” It’s Surprisingly Catchy
#1: “And Hugh Jackman!” “My Old Friend's New Friend”
Top 10 Times Chandler Was the Most Relatable Friend
The rant to end all rants! When J.D. approaches Dr. Cox and asks him if he’s excited about their last week together with J.D. as a resident, Perry replies in epic fashion. He proceeds to list all the things he cares as little about as their final week together. These topics range from fads, to politics, to celebrities, to then-cutting edge technology. By the end of it, he includes everything that exists in every conceivable reality. And to top it all off: “Oh – and Hugh Jackman!” He really went there. It’s so brutal, yet so entertaining. It’s no wonder they called back to it on J.D.’s final day at the hospital.
