Scrubs (TV Series)

My Words of Wisdom (2007)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Quotes 

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Dr. Cox!

  Dr. Perry Cox : What? What now? What does somebody need now?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Our deaf patient's father won't sign a consent form so he can have a cochlear implant.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Hmm. Who could you possibly go to if the FATHER won't sign. Here's a hint: it begins with an M

  [He draws an M in the air] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : and ends

  [He draws an R] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : with an R.

  Janitor : Marg Helgenberger!

  Dr. Perry Cox : The MOTHER! Get the mother to sign it. The mother will sign it!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : The mother, I told you.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : The mother! Come on, man.

  Janitor : Glad it's not Marg. We did not end well. Hell hath no fury like a Helgenberger scorned.

• Dr. Perry Cox : Okay, what's the problem?

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Laverne was our friend, and people are walking around like she never existed. It's not right, you know?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Yep, tough crowd.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Excuse me?

  Dr. Perry Cox : You can't tell other people how to feel, you just can't. Some wanna cry, and that's fine. Others may choose to laugh, and guess what, that's okay too. Plus, you don't know what's going on inside people's heads. Take um,

  [Dr. Cox points to Doug] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : take Pee-Pants here. Now how do you know he's not thinking about Laverne right now?

  Doug : I am thinking about her. I haven't seen my cell phone since her autopsy.

  [Realizes] 

  Doug : You don't think if I call it...

  Dr. Perry Cox : You're done.

  [to Carla] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : So to sum up: tough crowd. Hope that helps.

• Jordan Sullivan : What's wrong with Jennifer Dylan?

  Dr. Perry Cox : You named our daughter J.D...

  [later] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : Why would you do such a thing?

  Jordan Sullivan : I was hoping that you would hate the name so much that you wouldn't be able to hide your spite from your daughter and she would love me more than you.

  Dr. Perry Cox : I've got to go.

  Jordan Sullivan : Don't forget: Momma's coming home tomorrow, so the fridge needs to be restocked with rice cakes and vodka.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Jordan, while you were on bed rest for the last two months, I served as mother, father, butler, breadwinner and, thanks to our son's penchant for eating nickels and your irrational fear that they're never going to pass through his system... poo-poo sifter. I was hoping that, upon your return, you would start to assume some domestic responsibilities?

  Jordan Sullivan : Pass!

• Dr. Kelso : [reading his paper as Cox enters the doctors' lounge]  Perry, could I ask you a favor?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Actually, Bob, out of respect for Laverne, no. You see, according to the Right Reverend Jimmy T. Gibbons, that's the name I gave the minister in my mind... every day, Bob, every day I am to take 20 minutes for myself. Right about now, I'm going to be entering my imaginary, soundproof glass bubble.

  [opens the imaginary glass bubble and enters it] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : That way, I don't have to be bo...

  [closes the imaginary glass bubble continuing to move his lips as its voice was inaudible, then he sits on the couch and starts to read the paper] 

  Dr. Kelso : [continuing to read the paper]  I was just going to ask you to keep your yapper shut while I read the paper, so everybody wins.

  Lonnie : [entering the lounge]  Dr Cox.

  Dr. Kelso : You might want to know. He's in an imaginary glass bubble.

  [Lonnie pretends to knock] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : [opens the imaginary glass bubble's door]  What?

  Lonnie : I need help with a patient.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Twenty minutes.

  [closes the imaginary glass bubble's door] 

  Lonnie : Hey... how long does it takes for an old woman to bleed to death?