Fox News Might Drop Bill O’Reilly, Because Money Over Everything

No one loves the cold, calculating machinations of unfettered capitalism quite like Bill O'Reilly, and this week, the free market's message for America's top-rated perpetually squinting alleged serial harasser is "Get the hell out of here, you sad, old creep." Well-heeled advertisers continue to pull their spots from The O'Reilly Factor in the wake of reports that the host and his network have spent some $13 million to make a bevy of sexual-harassment cases quietly go away, and the exodus has gotten so bad that during last night's show, O'Reilly abruptly announced that he is taking an extended vacation, effective immediately. What a remarkable coincidence!

Here, allow Bill to explain in intricate detail how this was his idea, and that he actually wanted to take some time off, and that the Fox News production staffers on his show are definitely not quietly updating their résumés and listing studio equipment on Craigslist like an army of Creed Brattons.

Often around this time of year, I grab some vacation, because it’s spring, and Easter time! Last fall I booked a trip that should be terrific. I’m not going to tell you where it is, but we have a contest on billoreilly.com, “Guess Where Bill’s Going?” I’ll have a full report when I return.

The great pains he took to share how long ago he planned this vacation only make it sound more likely that this hiatus is of the long-rumored Michael Jordan "retirement" variety. Sure enough, New York magazine is reporting that while Fox News has already announced that O'Reilly will return on April 24, the network is privately not quite as sure.

O’Reilly’s future is in the hands of the Murdochs. “It’s up to the family,” the senior Fox News staffer said... Two highly placed Fox News sources say 21st Century Fox CEO James Murdoch would like O’Reilly to be permanently taken off the air, while his father, Rupert, and older brother, Lachlan, are more inclined to keep him. (A spokesperson for the Murdochs declined to comment.)

That dynamic—James pushing for swift action, while Rupert resists—played out last summer in the Ailes scandal. James, of course, got his way with Ailes. With more than three dozen advertisers boycotting O’Reilly, Fox staffers speculate the same may happen to O’Reilly, perhaps as early as during his vacation. “The assumption is that he’ll exit in a non-embarrassing way,” one senior Fox News staffer told me.

It's hard to imagine how the man could announce his resignation after two decades at the network in a way that meshes plausibly with his cool, fun spring-break story—After several days of relaxation and reflection, I have decided that my true journalistic calling is actually yelling extremely racist things here in Fiji—but I am very much here to see him try.

Bill O'Reilly is learning the same hard lesson right now that United Airlines learned earlier this week after that reprehensible passenger-dragging "re-accommodation" incident. The airline at first stood by its actions, matter-of-factly explaining that they simply had "no choice" other than beating the living hell out of a paying customer. The next day, though, a suddenly remorseful United was offering its "deepest apologies" for such a "truly horrific event."

What changed? A cool $1.4 billion, that's what:

Although United's stock rebounded slightly later that day, the backlash still wiped out a quarter-billion dollars of the company's market cap, and the midday specter of a ten-figure plunge was enough to reverse the spin machine altogether. Similarly, after The New York Times published its report on the O'Reilly allegations, Fox News doubled down, announcing that the host had signed a lucrative contract extension. Now that advertisers are bailing, though, the network sure looks like it's ready to put him out to pasture. Corporations may not have an inherent interest in doing the right thing, but if you make it worth their while, the response can be startlingly swift and decisive.

Here's how O'Reilly finished announcing his eagerly anticipated, totally expected, not-at-all-forced vacation last night:

If you can possibly take two good trips a year, it’ll refresh your life. We all need R&R. Put it to good use, plan it, don’t run into horror on the road. All of us deserve a break, so make sure you take yours.

Bye, Bill. Enjoy your trip.