The Pale Door (2020)
The Horror Western is a difficult genre to nail, as it turns out. Films like Bone Tomahawk and Near Dark wrangle the balance of shoot-em-up aesthetics with the visceral urgency of a slasher. Hell, Tomahawk has one of the most harrowing images of all time. Both of these films cut to the bone at points, yet Pale Door is so much more of a slog to get through, nay survive.
The fundamental problem of The Pale Door is its dialogue. No, it’s the characterization. No, the set decoration is pretty fucking awful. But if you have to cut to the core of matters, the fault lies with the fact that everything is taken so damned literally. Is the gang being taken to a town of witches and their minions burned at the stake? Of course they are, and it’s a fucking awful CGI festival of grey bitches with hooked noses. The director expects us to gobble up some half-baked brother narrative, cemented in pointless sentimentality by some stupid fucking brother bandana that’s passed around like a hot potato. Nothing matters, there’s no style, to say nothing of substance. Some joy can be found in the sheer insanity of the situation, but it quickly bogs itself down in boredom.
THE RULES
SIP
- Someone says ‘brother’ or ‘fuck’.
- A bounty sum is named.
- Brenda’s sexual escapades are brought up.
- The family farm is mentioned.
- Someone drops their accent.
- Whispery witch stuff.
BIG DRINK
- One of the gang gets shot.
- The movie tries to have a Moving Brotherly Connection Moment.
- The Bandana of +1 Bro Magic changes hands.