HOW BOSTON LEGAL CAPTURE HETEROSEXUAL MALE
FRIENDSHIP IN A NON CONFORMING WAY
Male friendships and overall structure of relationship have been built
and viewed through a very narrow scope that operates within a set of
unofficial rules or conducts that forces men to appear rigid, frequently
downplaying the importance of emotions, denying vulnerability and
nonchalant over commitments in friendship. These issues usually spark
off a chain reaction of toxic masculine traits that inherently hurts the
typical man’s social intelligence in friendships.
In defense of the men, the need to appear confident and pose as a
personification of an alpha male mostly trumps the need to appear
vulnerable and it is majorly blamed on a very demanding and brutal
world. Lucky for our generation, we are warming up to the truth and
facts of the issue and we utilize every platform like this article, research
pieces, public presentations, debates, seminars and TV shows like the
ones in this list to better illustrate how male friendship is observed
outside the lines of our restrictive expectations.
These shows explore how these heterosexual men openly declare love to
their fellow male friends without feeling unsettled about their sexuality.
It’s absolutely unconventional from what we know and in some
instances, it might even be way more than you can think of allowing but
it is worth discussing if there is a lot you can do to communicate your
feelings to your fellow male friend, brother or father but you hold back
because it’s non-conforming to society.
BOSTON LEGAL
Boston legal is said to be one of the greatest legal dramas of all time and
I have to agree and concur with that. The show is set in a prestigious
Boston law firm and hovers around the friendship of an older managing
partner, Denny Crane and a younger senior associate, Alan Shore.
The show picked off deep into their friendship and in the span of 5
seasons; we see how Denny and Alan pilot their friendship in a
seemingly unusual and non-conforming way for heterosexual men.
Let’s brush on lightly with the point that they profess deep love for each
other in many occasions over the stretch of 5 seasons. The nature of
friendship was so eclectic and multiple edged, they sound like romantic
partners and flirt with each other and at some point, you see Denny
Crane registering his position as the older person and playing a father
figure to Alan Shore.
They both call themselves the flamingoes and dress alike during
Halloween. Denny is over 70 and Alan is over 40. The age difference
between them created a sort of social gap that reflected in their social,
political and professional opinion but they still managed to strike a
balance and define the structure of their friendship.
Owing to the fact that the show is littered with gems, affirmations and
declarations that further sheds light to the topic, I would be quoting so
many dialogue lines from the scenes in order to create a perspective on
some of the existing and untouchable topics or issues in heterosexual
male friendships.
“I don’t know whether you know this but not many men take the time
every day to have a cigar, a glass of Scotch to talk to their best friend.
That’s not something most men have”
This is Denny Crane agonizing over the slowly fleeing attention of his
best friend to another man whom he dislikes. Alan Shore was spending
more time with his new friend Jerry Espensen and then brought him to the balcony where he shares a glass of scotch and cigar while talking
about their day, troubles, wins and political issues.
Denny is an intensely
emotional character and his purgation of emotion is vital to
demonstrating the strength of the friendship.
He went further saying:
“What I give to you, what I share, I give to no one else. I like to think
you also do with no one else. That may sound silly but here’s what I
think is silly; the idea that jealousy or fidelity is only reserved for
romance”
Now this statement is one of the most relevant one in the discourse of
their friendship and what we deem ideal for emotional expression in a
male friendship. He questioned the logic that only romantic relationships
reserve the right to explore jealousy and makes a lot of sense. If we are
all emotionally invested in every relationship, why is caring about third
party only validated for one?
Another unusual activity these grown men do is sleepovers. Not a one-
time thing but recurring sleepovers at each other’s place. Most of the
time, Alan asks because he enjoys Denny’s company better. It should
also be noted that these two men have been portrayed to be perverts and
chronic womanizers. They like women a lot and almost can’t help
drooling over any woman in their office. Denny Crane fell in love with a
midget and got engaged to many women on the spot. Alan Shore turns
the entire firm into his domain sexual escapades and promiscuity. But in
all of these, they show love, affection and intimacy without letting their
heterosexuality feel threatened.
In the fourth season, Alan Shore walks into Denny’s office and sees him
dancing and Denny offered him a dance and he joined as they take Salsa
steps and dance like a couple.
They even pee together. In a restroom scene, Denny stretches his over
Alan’s corner to check his pee flow.
“I got weak stream syndrome. You got nice velocity there”
They both complimented each other’s flow and Alan even commended
Denny about how it’s still impressive for a 75yr old man.
They go for vacations, camping, fishing and field trips together and they
tell each other about everything and keep no secret. They hug after an
argument in which they seal by opting for a sleepover.
The vulnerability in the two men was explored to depths as we see Alan
Shore having sleeping disorders and wandering off in the night, needing
a guardian. He was scared of clowns so much he was unable to stand
before a judge. He passes through stages of word salad where he loses
control of his speech formation.
“You are my best friend. I can’t imagine going through life without you
as my best friend”
Alan utters this to Denny in his office with a heavy heart reacting to
Denny’s meltdown over their friendship.
It’s not even a sure thing if there are men who keep friendship that goes
this deep like this but society have cordoned the freedom of emotional
expression between men, even fathers hold back, brothers hold back and
it’s just a relationship of bottled emotions and pretense.
Can the type of Denny and Alan’s friendship work in the real world
without the spill of toxic masculinity invalidating it?
What does male friendship and being your bro’s bro mean?
